Game of Thrones S05E06: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken
Another week, another Game of Thrones! Season 5, Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken. Well, fuck that title right back! Am I right?
After making me laugh, roll my eyes, and cheer, this episode ultimately hit me hard in the gut. I just have to talk about it.
!! This post contains SPOILERS for both the BOOKS and the TV SHOW !!
Sansa Stark is the greatest tragedy in the series
I knew merging Sansa Stark and Jeyne Poole was going to be the worst thing to happen to one of my favorite characters. As if this poor girl hasn’t gone through enough, they go and marry her off to Ramsay Bolton. You think the other characters have it bad? This girl has been kept, one on one, with two of the most vile people Westeros has to offer. There is literally no one else who has had it this bad. For years, book readers have complained that Sansa is too whiny. I’ve never understood that, and now I REALLY don’t understand it. If you don’t have feels for Sansa by now, there’s no hope for your humanity.
Sansa has had to grow up and face the realities of the world very quickly. At the start, she was a bubbly girl who dreamed of a Disney life: she would marry a handsome prince, wear beautiful outfits, and live happily ever after.
Well, she got the pretty outfits right. In every other aspect, her dreams have been horrifyingly shattered. Since her father became Hand, her entire life has been the world reminding her how stupid her dreams of romance and a perfect husband were. Arya may have it bad, but at least she gets to be what she always dreamed of being.
What may have come as a surprise to TV viewers is how Ramsay is so much worse than Joffrey. Joffrey, tyrant that he was, could be manipulated. There wasn’t much of a brain there. He was just a flailing, angry little brat with the power to behead people. Ramsay, on the other hand, is incredibly intelligent. Though he’s not one for taking heads, he thrives off mind games. He’s going to leave your head intact and utterly destroy what’s inside. You will be but a fragment of who you were before, and when he’s done with you, your death isn’t going to be a quick, clean loss of the head. No, he’s going to set you lose in the forest and hunt you down with his dogs. If you’re very lucky, he’ll name one of his dogs after you when you’re gone. But only if you provided him with good sport.
That’s the best case scenario with Ramsay Bolton, people. If you thought for a moment that Sansa would somehow be immune, you’ve frankly forgotten what show you’re watching. It would be out of character for anyone in this scene to act any differently than they did. Theon is still broken. Sansa is toughening up, but she has a long way to go before she’s Olenna Tyrell. Ramsay is still a psychopath.
Stannis beginning his march on Winterfell in the last episode had me hoping that we would never actually get to a point where Sansa would be up for abuse. Yes, I’d forgotten what show I’m watching too. I should have known better. People in Westeros don’t fuck around – they get god damned married and on with it. They want babies, and they want them now.
As surprising as it may be to hear – we were spared the worst of it. Jeyne Poole, who was married to Ramsay in the books, had a far worse wedding night. Rather than putting Theon on the side to watch, Ramsay had him cut her clothes off and “bend to the task”. Mouth broken and diseased, Theon had to orally prepare her for Ramsay’s onslaught and actively participate in the coupling. It was bad enough reading it happen to Jeyne Poole – I simply could not watch it happen to Sansa Stark.
Alfie Allen is completely killing it as Theon, by the way. His performances are better and better every week, and I’m shocked that this is the same Alfie his sister (Lilly Allen) sang about being lazy and smoking pot all day.
Arya Stark’s about to become a bad ass
Arya finally gets to see the room of many faces, and it’s so much more awesome than I imagined it. I can’t decide if this scene was haunting or enchanting. Either way, I loved it. Can’t wait to see Arya finally slip into a face and get to work.
The Sand Snakes Are Basically the Power Rangers
They were boring in the books, and they’re even worse here. When Obara announced that Oberyn was her father, I cringed, expecting another stupid monologue. “MY FATHER IS OBERYN MARTELL AND HE TOOK ME TO COURT ONE TIME.” Simmer down, sister.
The fight wasn’t exciting, I refused to believe that everyone just arrived at the same place in the middle of the day. Ellaria apparently has nothing better to do than stand in a hallway looking maniacal. Her spinning as they surrounded her was just about as cheesy as a villainess gets. “And I would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for those meddling Lannisters!” It really threw my immersion in the episode.
I’m enjoying this season, but they’re really biffing it with the Dorne storyline. Sadly, it looks like Bronn got a good slash from one of the sisters. Which probably means poison, which often leads to death. What a disappointing way to see Bronn go.
Any excuse is a good excuse to bring the Queen of Thorns back
Olenna Tyrell doesn’t appear much in the books, and certainly not at this point, but any change that means more of her is a change I’m okay with! I could sit and watch her insult the cast all day long.
I don’t know where this came from, but it’s amazing and thank you.
The power play between Cersei and Margaery were my favorite moments in A Feast for Crows. It’s changed a bit in the show, but we’re headed to the same place and I’m loving every moment of it. In the first season, I wasn’t satisfied with Lena Headey’s portrayal of Cersei. I felt that she was too calm and calculating. Four seasons later, she’s finally approaching the erratic and careless behavior of the books. If only TV viewers could see all the crazed and paranoid thoughts going through her brain as this transpires.
Overall, aside from the unfortunate Dorne scene, this was my favorite episode of the season. What did you guys think?