E3 2017 was… kind of a dud?

Was any else not all that impressed with E3 this year?

Last year was gamer euphoria between Sony’s conference and Nintendo’s mind-blowing Switch reveal. My head was literally bursting. All I could see were bills flying out of my wallet and all the time I have in the rest of my life being devoured.

E3

This year just kinda came and… oops! It’s over. Did E3 even happen? Did I miss something? What’s going on.

Sony’s presentation was a snorefest. They had some games I’m looking forward to, but nothing earth shattering. I never thought I’d say it, but Microsoft butchered them this year. And that’s coming from a guy that has not, nor will he ever own an Xbox console.

Nintendo took the cake. Their presentation was brief, but they did what they needed to do: confirm to everyone who sucker punched some kid’s dad for the last Switch at Target that they did it right. Switch is where it’s happening.

There were a few game reveals I managed to not be a sourpuss about. Here’s some of my standout announcements!

Life Is Strange: Before the Storm

https://youtu.be/AvwDNGjEp7A

 

A three episode prequel, without the original Chloe voice actress, seems kinda like really good DLC? But Life is Strange was the most out-of-nowhere-fucking-amazing video game I’ve ever played, and I’m down for whatever they want to give me. Seriously, if you haven’t played it yet, stop reading and do it now.

Based on the trailer, it will continue the tradition of autumny hipster soundtracks. Good. I need these developers to keep finding good music for me brag about hearing first.

The first episode will be available August 31st, for Xbox One, PS4, and Steam.

The Last Night

https://youtu.be/n4IPBiB7SF4

 

It’s like… Hotline Miami meets Blade Runner? With a bit of Out of this World thrown in? Pixel art is all the rage these days, but this takes it to another level. It’s beautiful.

It’s coming to Xbox One and PC next year.

Ori and the Will of the Wisps

https://youtu.be/2kPSl2vyu2Y

 

oh

my

god

oh my god.

LOOK at this game, you guys. You just TRY to watch this trailer without getting tears in your eyes – and if you don’t!!! I’ll show you a video of the first game’s opening that will.

Give it to me. Give it to me!

There is NO release date, because everything in this world is terrible, but it will be coming to Xbox One and PC. Eventually.

Hidden Agenda

 

https://youtu.be/ns8m0eYxKBQ

 

Playstation sorely lacks in the multiplayer department, and this is just the thing it needs.

Until Dawn was super fun to play, and the developers are taking that concept forward by allowing your friends to toy with you as you play via their phones. Everyone has their own agenda, and someone is very likely to trick you down the wrong path. Multiplayer with phones = don’t have to buy extra controllers for your console that has no multiplayer games! Win!!

Can’t wait to try it. Sometime this year, apparently.

Footnote: This is how you make an interactive movie game, Quantic Dream!! Get out of here with your melodramatic Detroit bullshit!

Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser’s Minions

 

https://youtu.be/OI54_yxpwkY

 

SUPERSTAR SAGA!!! Remade!

This game is charming as fuck and you will be excited with me.

Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle

https://youtu.be/DqH-iwA0ZmU

 

What the fuck are Rabbids? Nintendo, are you okay? What have I missed. What even is this game.

It’s cute as hell, though. Is it a tactics game? Somebody explain what this thing is that I want.

Also, it’s coming out August 29th. Out of fucking nowhere.

And then there were disappointments!

  • This list of standout reveals? They would all be sideshows in a regular E3. Hmm.
  • No word on Virtual Console. Come on, Nintendo. You rocked it. This is all you had to do. Give me my damn portable SNES games.
  • Detroit. I used to love Quantic Dream, but I think I’ve grown out of it. Nothing about that game looks fun.
  • Final Fantasy XV Virtual Reality: Fishing. WTF
  • Xenoblade Chronicles 2 – I don’t know. I want to love it, but the graphics are a serious step down. I’m sure it will be great, but cell-shaded graphics are just not my cup of tea.
  • Sony

What did you guys think? Was it the best E3 ever? What are you excited for?

Disclaimer: I’ve never fucking played Metroid so I don’t care about Metroid so leave me alone about Metroid AHHH (but be excited for it if you want it’s fine).

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